Nope, this is not about your regular detergent company. This is about 2008 and how loopy it was for me, the way the zeros and the 8’s drove me to a roller coaster ride.
Gambles
I made a ton of “professional” stunts myself last year. I resigned from Xackup Inc. (thus leaving Bandwagon hanging, and am still hurting for leaving Bandwagon just like that), started a freelancing gig (and from there I met a lot of contacts), tried to look for more jobs (which opened my eyes about the employment process here in our country), hooked up with a very elite IT team (Stratpoint Solutions Inc., that is), and fell face-down with my financial and emotional struggles.
Almost three months I spent thinking and wallowing, and thinking more. And maybe just like casinos, I had beginner’s luck with Xackup Inc. Bandwagon was a big hit. Then I got distracted with personal issues, same way people get distracted with their first lost coin in that slot machine.
I wanted to learn how to not get distracted. I wanted to be productive but I just can’t.
Proctors
I met a lot of great people. There’s AJ Batac, Joseph Ross Lee, Diwa del Mundo, Marte Soliza (kid wonder of the CS Department), Waldemar Bautista, and Sir Bob Uy (My Software Applications Lab Mentor / Proctor). Then came Sir Paco (Sandejas), Sir Mon (Dalde), and Sir Ernie (Tarroza). I just realized that I’m being connected to awesome people, and I guess the one person (exactly how I described him while I was talking to him) who exudes this awesome kind of awesomeness, it would be Gramps (Terence Pua).
I have so many cool mentors (and colleagues) but last year, I was still as sucky as a racing horse who delays the conclusion of the race because he crawls from start to finish. “What’s wrong then?” you would ask.
The thing about proctors is that they are there to watch over you. Tell you what seemingly wrong stuff you might be doing. But like normal exam proctors, they just give you comments, prying eyes, or perhaps that slight kicking-your-ass gesture. Proctors give us direction. We take hold of the reins. We decide how fast our paces should be. We decide if we crawl from start to finish. We make that imaginary burden weigh 10 tons.
Back on the Loop
2009 is a great year for me, and for every one of us, not because optimism is the *it* mentality nowadays (with all the recession crap we hear on CNN and BBC World News), but because we, being intelligent beings, after a big blow of recession, depression, and confusion, we manage to keep things going. We still breathe air even if it’s polluted. We still manage to blog about things considering the crumbling world we’re currently in. We still persist. I persist.
Now I’m back in the loop, fixing tangles, starting to become less greedy, calculating every step of my way, without compromising my ability to dream. I can even write long articles now. I’m back on the loop, back to where I’m supposed to be.
I see “Gramps” smiling now. (Haha!)